Friday, February 24, 2012

Processing

This afternoon the farrier came up to work on the horses.  I asked him to do Jackson first, and while he trimmed Jackson I held Winston so he could watch.  Winston was very upset about the equine dentist's stuff and he didn't like Brett's ladder in the aisle.  The farrier?  He didn't even care.  Winston just nibbled on grass and then went straight to the tie rail with no shenanigans to get his feet trimmed.  He did do some naughty hopping around but that will come with time.  He's just a baby in so many ways.

Sage was complimentary of Winston's feet as I expected.  He said from a conformation standpoint they are outstanding.  He didn't have a whole lot of foot but since Sage didn't do the last trimming, he isn't sure if its a trimming issue or if Winston wears them down faster than they grow.  Time will tell.  I've got my fingers crossed that he can remain barefoot.

Jackson has been off and on gimpy so we kept him in yesterday and last night, giving him bute, so he could tolerate his trim today.  This morning, I washed his back legs and tail so he would be clean for Sage and then I let him graze for half an hour while he dried.



 He doesn't do well with turnout in the pasture.  He moves around too much -- he is bottom of the pecking order so he gets pushed around by Flash and Winston.  Even if he just walks around, after a few hours he is sore.  So, I let him graze all by himself. 






When I put him away, he stood in a corner of his stall and took a nap.

So, I shouldn't have been surprised when Sage told me that all four of his feet look bad.  They are very lamanitic and have developed pockets and .... well, it would be appropriate for him to go at any time.

I know that.  Really I do.  But, I am so far from ready that it isn't funny.  I asked Sage if he could finish up with Flash and Kalvin because I had work to do in the house.  It was a lie.  I came up to the house and sat on the couch and started trying to process this.  Brett called -- he must have ESP -- and we talked about the difference between what is clinically indicated/inevitable and timing that feels right for Jackson.  Brett is in the Seattle area for a few days visiting his daughter and the grand kids.  I miss him.

I'm going to ride Winston as soon as Sage is done.  I'm hoping it will make me feel better.  I feel like some one dropped a bunch of rocks in my heart.


...and, please, no advice:  "try this trimming or that..."  I know what I know.  I know my horse.  I don't want any advice even though it is offered with the best intentions.  Jackson will tell me when he is ready -- and I will listen.

17 comments:

  1. i am sorry, annette. and jackson. and brett. :(

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  2. Just listen to Jackson...and you will know. I love the photos of him grazing in the yard. So glad Brett knew to call you at the right time.
    Big hugs from Skoog Farm.

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  3. I'm so sorry :( It can't be easy. Take care!

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  4. Sending best wishes and thoughts to you all - that's all I can do.

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  5. I'm so sorry to read this. You and Brett have a strong connection - glad he called just then. I hope your ride helped you to feel a little better.

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  6. I, too, am so sorry to read this, but, like you, I believe you will know in your heart when he is ready to go. You will be in my thoughts.

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  7. You WILL know. You will still be broken hearted, but you'll do what needs to be done.

    Virtual hugs from France.

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  8. Jackson is so beautiful. I am sorry. Life is not fair.

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  9. I can't really process this either. He has so much life.

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  10. No advice from me, some doors, as wonderful as they were, just shut themselves.

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  11. :( I am sad to read that, but your past few posts about him seemed to indicate what you don't want to say out loud. I have a feeling you still don't want to say it out loud. I don't blame you, I am no good with good-byes. Last week when the old horse at Gen's barn coliced I was amazed by his owner. She did the most unselfish and kind thing and come to the decision much more quickly than most. I completely understand your wanting to hold on. I know that I am the same way. I am sure that you will know when the time is right, and I am so, so sorry that it has to happen at all. HUGS.

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  12. Oh God,very sad news.Even that your perfectly will know the time,it's a hard breaking time.Always worse for the ones that stays.
    Best wishes.

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  13. I'm so sorry! I know we don't know the details, but laminitis is fixable. Google Pete Ramey when you feel like thinking about it again. I'm sorry you're going through this. I wish there was something we could do for you, but we are here for you no matter what happens!

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  14. Oh sorry. I didn't see your last sentence below the last picture. :(

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Thanks so much for commenting! I love the conversation.