Good Riddance

...to 2014. I'm hoping for a quiet 2015.

2014 was a year of loss for me. The largest, most overwhelming, loss was that of my mom in February. I am still haunted by the memory of the days in the hospital with her that last week, of wrestling with her wishes to go - against my want of her to stay, in the quiet nights while I sat in the room alone with her. I find my eyes welling with tears, still, on my evening commute home when my mind drifts to thoughts normally shared in our frequent phone calls. Camille and I have a whole new understanding of pelicans flying close by -- Grandma is with us in spirit.

We lost Sedona in the summer after her battle with cancer. Sedona lived a long happy life and her final demise was sudden and clear. We did not have to wonder about whether it was time; one morning she couldn't walk and her eyes told us it was time. She was a great dog and part of our family fabric.

There was also the loss of Winston. It was difficult for me to accept that I was not the rider he needed. We lost confidence in each other and we couldn't find our way back. Selling him to a brave young rider was the right thing to do but it wasn't an easy decision to make.

Thanksgiving was difficult. There was hurt and, hopefully, some healing. It was painful regardless. That's all I'm gonna say on that subject.

The year wasn't all bad, of course. Lucy and I found each other and we bonded immediately. She fixed my tendency to curl and lean forward in a matter of weeks; something that years of lessons failed to do. If I lean, at all, she rushes. If I'm straight and balanced, so is she. The reward for both of us is huge. When I ride Lucy, I am in a place of relaxed joyfulness. She is truly a gift (thank you Victoria and Sandy).

Brett underwent successful knee replacement surgery. The recovery was very different from the time he had his first knee done. He had much less pain, greater range of motion almost immediately and healed in record time. I can hardly keep up with him now.

Kyle graduated from college and started working in San Francisco. I have successfully launched my eldest child -- and it feels great. I'm very proud of both of my children; of who they have become and how they live their lives. Camille is on her way and I expect a successful launch, in a few years, with her as well.

Here's a big raspberry to 2014 and a hearty welcome to 2015.

Kersey misses Sedona but being an inside dog in the winter has definite benefits.

Bon Voyage Sedona

I have had purebred animals and rescue animals, and my favorites have been rescues.  Purebreds are beautiful and if you are into breed competitions, well, you have to go that route.  But for all around ranch animals you can't beat a rescue dog.  In my experience they are hardy and healthy, maybe from surviving on the street.  They also bring a happiness, a love of life, and a devotion that can't be surpassed.  Sedona was all those things.

When Brett and I were first married in 2000, and living in the suburbs, we had a Weimeraner.  She was a beautiful dog, very sweet, but not healthy.  We lost her when she was only two years old, just after we moved into our home at Aspen Meadows.  Brett was devastated.  I started campaigning for a new dog almost immediately but Brett said he just wasn't ready.   A few months later, on my birthday, he called me at work.  This was before he retired from the city police department.  He called to tell me that animal control had picked up a yellow dog.  He suggested I come over to the PD on my lunch and take a look.  Sure enough, there was a yellow dog, about knee high, tied with a long rope to a post by the back parking lot.  She was found roaming the city streets with a threadbare and dirty collar. No tags. When the dog saw me, it squeaked like a tea kettle and dropped to the ground, rolling onto her back in submission.  I spoke to her softly and she showered me with affection, sitting on my feet and continuing with the tea kettle squeaking.  It was my birthday and she was a wonderful gift.

After she was neutered and ready to be released to us, I took her into our vet for a check up.  I was told that she was about eight months old and most likely a mix of kuvasz (say what?) and something else.  I was warned that she would be large.  No kidding.  Sedona grew and grew and grew.  Kuvasz are Hungarian wolfhounds and huge.  We think she also had some German shephard in the mix. 

She never stopped squeaking when she was excited and she always sat on my feet.  She would also wrap her paw around my legs in a hug. 

Sedona was close to twelve years old when we lost her today.  She was my favorite dog ever.  EVER.

She loved Kyle and Camille and kept watch over them when they were small.

She loved the snow.  She would walk through a creek full of freezing water on a snowy day and not flinch.

She loved Kersey.

She loved chasing squirrels, birds and the cat.  She was a working dog and she took her job of policing the property seriously.

Even at the end, when she couldn't walk and wouldn't eat, she had her head up watching her property.

She was very, sweet and welcoming with friends and family.

She was a ranch dog through and through.  She tolerated being in the house but she much preferred to be outside; particularly when it was cold.

It was hard to let her go this afternoon but it was time.  We cradled and caressed her as she peacefully slipped away.  Godspeed Sedona.

Random Five Friday

1.  I've been riding Lucy in the mornings before work.  She's so much fun to ride that I have to schedule her days off or I'd end up riding her every day.  We are quickly becoming very attached to each other.

2.  I never know for sure what Lucy and I are going to focus on in our rides.  Some mornings, like yesterday, we don't do anything except work on relaxation.  This morning, she was much more relaxed so we did quite a bit of lateral work and some counter canter.  We were both hot and sweaty, and happy, when we finished.

3.  The other animals join in the action.  Do you see the deer doing extended trot in the pasture behind us?

4.  Kersey wanted to know if Lucy can do this move.  Yes, Kersey, but not with me on her back.

5.  Sedona, on the other hand, has had a tough few days.  She stopped eating and started wheezing.  Instead of being on alert in watch dog mode, she sprawled on the ground with her head down and eyes closed.  We increased her pain med dosage and crossed our fingers.  I was sure we were approaching good bye.  This evening, she rallied a bit.   Her appetite wasn't huge but she did eat.  And she laid on the front porch with us, head up and ears at attention; surveying her domain; on duty.

Random Five Friday

1. Another hot and humid day today. Brett and I tried to sit on the front porch with a glass of wine but we didn't last long. The mosquitos and flies were buzzing furiously, landing on Brett's cheek, on my arms and on the dogs. We gave up -- gulped our wine and started on the evening chores. I remember backpacking in the Sierras when I was a kid -- and hiding in my tent to get away from the mosquitos. This is our first spring at Oak Creek Ranch; now I know what to expect -- beauty and bugs.

2. Sedona barely touched her breakfast this morning and refused her dinner tonight. She wouldn't even eat her raw meat. I managed to get a small piece, hiding two pain pills, down her throat. She chewed slowly, swallowed, and looked at me mournfully. I'm hoping its the heat and not pain that is causing her to lose her appetite. I'm more than a little bit worried. She will be twelve this summer and we've had her since she was a puppy.

This picture was taken last fall.  No leaves on the ground now.

3. Winston update: Sandy said that Winston hasn't been in a bad mood for weeks. He's been a lot of fun to ride. I'm happy and it makes me wistful for the days that I rode him regularly and thought he was the most fun horse ever. He clearly needs regular work -- which I can't provide. Sandy was able to work through his resistance and that combined with his increased fitness, has brought back the horse I loved when we were living at Aspen Meadows.

Having fun at Aspen Meadows

4. There has been a steady trickle of people calling about Winston. Most of them are attracted by his color and are not strong enough to ride him. Yesterday, an older woman came to try him -- looking for a seasoned, steady trail horse. Ummm, no. She pretty quickly decided that he was too much horse for her. I'm not sure how she got "bombproof trail horse" out of his ad which clearly states he needs a strong rider to deal with his strong personality.

5. Today a young girl, maybe 13 or 14, came with her mother and aunt to try Winston. They have an appaloosa at home, love him, but he's retired at the ripe old age of 30. The daughter rides dressage with a trainer. Winston would be in full time work. I wasn't at the barn when they came, but I heard that the girl rode Winston very well. I also heard that when she finished riding him, in the arena and out on the small trail that circles the paddocks, she couldn't stop smiling. She covered Winston in kisses and he ate it up. Winston loves attention more than just about anything and he got a lot of it from this girl. Fingers crossed....

Random Five Friday

This week isn't going to be a very random set of five.  The questions and comments I received about my decision to sell Winston were overwhelmingly supportive.  Thank you all so much for that.  There is so much wisdom amongst my followers; thank you for sharing your wisdom with me.

1.  TeresaA suggested that I consider a baroque horse when I start looking for a new horse.  Auke, a horse I had before Jackson, was a Friesian.  He was beautiful but we weren't a good fit.  Baroque horses also tend to be quite expensive and I'm not going to be in the market for a pricey mount.  If I could find a Quarter horse that is built uphill, I'd buy it in a heartbeat.

2.  Val, along those lines, noted that I was very happy with Jackson.  Of all the horses I've had the pleasure of knowing, Jackson is still my favorite.  My heart horse.  If I could find a horse with the sweetness, heart, and try of Jackson -- with strong feet and a straight body, I would be in heaven.  Jackson is "just" a Paint horse with crummy feet but he made me smile everytime I rode him.  He still makes me smile.

3.  Kate and a few others made the observation that while Winston and I aren't a good fit, I did give him a good start.  Kate's comment that Winston may well be as frustrated with me as I am with him hit home.  I am sure she is right.  I don't know if Dom still reads my blog, but if I could find a local clone of her it would be the perfect fit.  She's a brave and sensitive rider; just what he needs.  She would have his number in a way that I don't.  He needs someone to take him over fences and gallop down the trail, in addition to dressage.  He needs variety to be happy.  And when he's happy, he's a lot of fun.

4.  Many of you share in my transition to different goals; away from competition to a focus on harmonious, peaceful riding at home.  I'm glad I'm not alone in this.  I thought maybe I was; that I was a wimp and you would all desert me.

5.  Inger asked if Sedona is still with us.  Yes!  Sedona is doing great.  I took the dogs on a three mile walk last night after work.  Kersey, the youngster, struggled along on her short legs panting up the hills.  Sedona trotted easily the whole way; up hills and down, ears pricked, tail up, watching the deer, wild turkeys, quail and trying to chase squirrels.  She is still on pain meds but has put on weight and is happily patrolling the property.

Back Home

Yesterday afternoon as I drove home from my Dad's house, I thought about planting a garden for my Mom.  I woke a few times during the night, each time adding plants in my mind.  There would have to be lilacs, and red salvia.  Rhubarb came to me in the middle of the night.  She baked rhubarb pies a lot when I was a kid -- her favorite and mine too.

Brett and I were up early this morning doing chores.

 Jackson has been very sore on his left front the past few days.  When I got home yesterday, I wrapped it a booty but he was still very sore this morning.  And, his right hind was sore this morning in addition to the front.  I'm suspecting a combination of soft soles (the bane of his existence) and thrush.  I put thrush medication inside the booty and, if nothing else, that sole will be staying dry.

We took the truck on our errands this morning because Brett wanted to pick up a metal water trough for the donkeys.  He casually asked if it would be alright if we swung by the nursery so he could look at sprinkler valves.  Sneaky.  He knows I can't resist the nursery and he knows that the best thing for me right now is to garden.  I picked up three bare-root lilacs, a pomegranate and rhubarb.  It took me all afternoon to pull all the weed's in Mom's Garden, plant the lilacs and rhubarb, and spread compost over the ground.  It's a start.

The dogs were out with us.  They mobbed me when I got home last night.

We also opened the pasture gate and let the horses roam the ranch.  Flash and Mufasa wasted no time heading to the green grass next to the dressage court.

It took Jackson awhile with his sore hooves, but he made his way to the oak trees on the other side of the court next to the stream.

It's good to be home.

Welcoming 2014

The horses had another day of wandering the entire property.  The perimeter is fenced so Brett opened the pasture gates and let them wander at will.

The spent time grazing on the front lawn.

Then they wandered out to the dressage court where the grass is green and plentiful.  They were happy there until something startled them and they headed back to the safety of the barn, with Jackson in the lead.

They milled around the barn for awhile before heading back to the front lawn.

Sedona kept watch.

Kersey slept.

Brett worked on closing the fence gaps between the wire and ground.

Kersey has figured out how to wiggle underneath.  Naughty dog.

I want to thank everyone for the comments left on yesterday's post.  You are right, I need to take it slow and not expect everything to be fixed/perfect immediately.  Patience has never been my strong point.  I spent some time in the garden today, pruning the nectarine tree and puttering.  It does feed my soul.  Thanks for the reminder.