2014 was a year of loss for me. The largest, most overwhelming, loss was that of my mom in February. I am still haunted by the memory of the days in the hospital with her that last week, of wrestling with her wishes to go - against my want of her to stay, in the quiet nights while I sat in the room alone with her. I find my eyes welling with tears, still, on my evening commute home when my mind drifts to thoughts normally shared in our frequent phone calls. Camille and I have a whole new understanding of pelicans flying close by -- Grandma is with us in spirit.
We lost Sedona in the summer after her battle with cancer. Sedona lived a long happy life and her final demise was sudden and clear. We did not have to wonder about whether it was time; one morning she couldn't walk and her eyes told us it was time. She was a great dog and part of our family fabric.
There was also the loss of Winston. It was difficult for me to accept that I was not the rider he needed. We lost confidence in each other and we couldn't find our way back. Selling him to a brave young rider was the right thing to do but it wasn't an easy decision to make.
Thanksgiving was difficult. There was hurt and, hopefully, some healing. It was painful regardless. That's all I'm gonna say on that subject.
The year wasn't all bad, of course. Lucy and I found each other and we bonded immediately. She fixed my tendency to curl and lean forward in a matter of weeks; something that years of lessons failed to do. If I lean, at all, she rushes. If I'm straight and balanced, so is she. The reward for both of us is huge. When I ride Lucy, I am in a place of relaxed joyfulness. She is truly a gift (thank you Victoria and Sandy).
Brett underwent successful knee replacement surgery. The recovery was very different from the time he had his first knee done. He had much less pain, greater range of motion almost immediately and healed in record time. I can hardly keep up with him now.
Kyle graduated from college and started working in San Francisco. I have successfully launched my eldest child -- and it feels great. I'm very proud of both of my children; of who they have become and how they live their lives. Camille is on her way and I expect a successful launch, in a few years, with her as well.
Here's a big raspberry to 2014 and a hearty welcome to 2015.
Kersey misses Sedona but being an inside dog in the winter has definite benefits. |